after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
