Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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