one two three fourrrrnication!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
