I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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