he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
