I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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