The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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