Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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