we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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