How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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