apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
