Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
