Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
