forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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