I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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