Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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