That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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