She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
