Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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