Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
