my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
