the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
