Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
