therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
