What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
