I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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