96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Mom said you looked used
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize