On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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