I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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