I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
