I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
