I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This is the high leading the old right now
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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