We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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