vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize
