I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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