I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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