we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
