I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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