is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
