too bad you live with your parents still
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
