You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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