is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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