If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
