when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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