Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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