i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
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If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize