I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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