I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
