just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
soo... how was my night?
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