I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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