I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
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He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
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I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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