Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it's like iHOP with fire
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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