I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
