dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
