If that was your dad, he is hot
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
