just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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