Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
