This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
