We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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