my soul wont recognize me after tonight
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
