It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize