do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
